Warriors Share Wiki:Create/Finished Critiques
Sunrise ~ Littlewillow So, I read Leopard's blog and here I am. I don't care who critiques. I will edit now to make slight improvements! [[User:Littlewillow|'Little']][[User talk:Littlewillow|'willow ' ]] '' Allons-y'' 20:04, January 12, 2013 (UTC) I'll do it, just give me a day~ Prussia:The Awesome Time Lord 23:22, January 12, 2013 (UTC) Well! I has read it! And it was excellent, but to the actual critique! Plot recieves a 9.5 Don't get me wrong, the plot was really awesome, but I got lost at some points, but then again, i usually get lost a lot. But the plot I could understand very well, I always love rebellions in stories, it makes stories even more exciting! Characters recieves a 9 The characters were pretty awesome too, but I got slightly confused when Goldendash changed from normal to seemingly evil and mean, but I caught on pretty quickly, they all have pretty distinct personalities. Timberstar kind of creeped me out, if you get what I mean x3. Grammar recieves a 9 'There was tiny grammatical mistakes, but not major ones! Everyone has their little grammar mistakes. x3 '''All in all, it receies a 9.5 '''It was super awesome! The plot was really good, the characters had very distinct personalities, and was very well-written~ 'Prussia:The Awesome Time Lord 21:04, January 16, 2013 (UTC) Thank you Bird! You have already done enough, but I was wondering if you could tell me exactly what little problems there are in the plot. It will help me out a lot, but I understand if you don't have time or anything like that :) [[User:Littlewillow|'Little']][[User talk:Littlewillow|'willow ' ]] '' Allons-y'' 21:34, January 18, 2013 (UTC) It's fine, what I mean is, (and maybe it might just be my consistency to be distracted a lot) sometimes what was happening was a bit hard to follow sometimes. x3 Prussia:The Awesome Time Lord 23:22, January 18, 2013 (UTC) Archiving. 12:21, January 27, 2013 (UTC) From The Dust - Ducksplash Yeah, so as said in Leo's blog. I think this was like the first fanfic I ever finished. xD 20:58, January 12, 2013 (UTC) I'll do it. 00:27, January 13, 2013 (UTC) Nice story. :) Plot receives a 9 It was. I would like it more probably if I go more explanation on what had happened to the clans before the story. Maybe like a prologue that explains it. The plot does go a tad bit too fast. It’s sort of odd that the Dark Forest decided just to not attack. You could give more reason for that. Grammar receives a 9 There are some confusing parts. I think it would be better if you could rewrite the last sentence in the first paragraph, since it really confused me. Oh, and I think you called Nightwing, Nightflower in the second chapter, unless that is a different cat. There are some more errors, but I thought I should point out a few. Characters receive a 9.5 I like how you tried and did a pretty good job of sticking with the personalities of the cats from the series. The whole story receives a 9 It was a wonderful idea, and enjoyable to read. 18:34, January 19, 2013 (UTC) Plot receives an 8. It had bits that were a little bit on the normal side for Warriors-based plots and as Leo said, it was fast-paced, and you do need some reasoning and background on the Clans before you can fully develop them. But having said that the plot development was otherwise excellent and you pulled through in the end. I really liked the drama in the plot, especially Thistlefur's death. Grammar receives a 9. Not much to say about this- there were a few errors, but it was nothing short of a excellently written story structurally. Characters receive an 8. I think you did well considering you were working with characters from the original books and that was a smart way to go for your first fanfiction, but you really can't leave them as they are. I know this contradicts what Leopard said, but in a story the characters usually learn something, gain something or change in some way through the things they experience in the story. While you did a really great job adding onto some cats' personalities, you didn't really push right through with that. The whole story receives a 9. I can tell you put a lot of time and effort into this story, and it shines through in the structural aspects as well as the atmosphere of the story. 22:12, January 20, 2013 (UTC) (Mai gawd she's back!) Archiving. 12:34, January 27, 2013 (UTC) The Cure - Ducksplash I want to get all of my finished storied critiqued. owo 20:58, January 12, 2013 (UTC) I'll do this one. I have a ton of free time today. 19:13, January 20, 2013 (UTC) Plot receives a 9.5 It’s nicely written, and really good. The plot goes at a pretty good speed, and I was really interested at how the problem was going to be solved. Grammar receives a 9.5 There were some name confusions, with Thrushclaw being called Thrushwing, and one or two spelling errors, but no grammar errors that made it impossible to understand. Characters receive a 9.5 I really like how defined the character’s personalities were. Overall the story receives a 9.5 Nicely done. 19:46, January 20, 2013 (UTC) Archiving. 12:27, January 27, 2013 (UTC) Fire Water 22:18, January 12, 2013 (UTC) I could do this. owo 00:51, January 13, 2013 (UTC) Plot receives a 9.5 It was a wonderful idea, but it happened so quickly. Grammar receives an 9 There was quite a few misplaced punctuation marks, and some were missing. Also, there was a few misspelled words. Characters receive a 9.5 I love how you mentioned that some characters were related. Imagery receives an 8 I felt that it was a bit rushed, the setting and characters didn't have enough time to develop in my opinion. Overall it receives a 9. Wonderful job! =) 23:29, January 19, 2013 (UTC) Thanks. :) 19:47, January 20, 2013 (UTC) Archiving. 12:36, January 27, 2013 (UTC) Pareidolia - Violetofen4 22:47, January 12, 2013 (UTC) I'll crtique this one, if no one minds. (...When will get around to changing my sig?..) Merry Rowan-misMy sig is awesome[[The Memory Chasers| because it has BUDDER ]] 04:12, January 22, 2013 (UTC) Plot receives a 9 '''I liked the idea, but it went too quickly at points that could confuse the reader. '''Grammar receives an 10 '''I didn't see one grammar mistake, although I've been known to miss some, none were bad enough for me to notice :). '''Characters receive a 8.5 Along with it going to quickly at points, it mostly effected the character. Such as Shadowstorm; we hadn't heard of him before this, and we find out he's evil right as soon as we meet him. This made the feeling of betrayal weaker, and didn't move the reader as much as say... Tigerclaw's betrayal to Bluestar did. Although I did like things such as the flashback when Mintstar lost her life, showing how bad Hummingbird felt when she thought had lost another that she cared about. Imagery receives an 8.5 In parts it was a bit rushed and didn't really give any time for the reader to be accustomed to the setting. Overall it receives a 9. It's a good story, and the only advice I could give is slow down and describe scenes and characters more, letting things develop. Merry Rowan-misMy sig is awesome[[The Memory Chasers| because it has BUDDER ]] 04:54, January 22, 2013 (UTC) Better do it soon Rowan x3 Archiving. 12:37, January 27, 2013 (UTC) Imprudent and Meek - Ducksplash Same as The Cure^ 20:58, January 12, 2013 (UTC) Seeing as no-one has taken this on, I will unless anyone suddenly wants to. 12:34, January 27, 2013 (UTC) Bravery and Sacrifice: Series 1 Book 1 22:18, January 12, 2013 (UTC) I'll do it shortly unless you get a sudden offer. 12:35, January 27, 2013 (UTC) I'll do it, I need to be more active anyway. I'm sure Leo wouldn't mind if I offer, right? ButterfallDamn squids...[[The Memory Chasers| stole my BUDDER! ]]06:54, February 6, 2013 (UTC) No, no, go ahead! I'll be doing these over today and tomorrow, so if anyone wants to take one this is the last chance. 17:12, February 6, 2013 (UTC) DeadClans: Series 1 Book 1 23:10, January 12, 2013 (UTC) As above, I'll do it if no-one else will. 12:38, January 27, 2013 (UTC) I'll do it. I haven't done one in forever. 22:21, February 6, 2013 (UTC) Shadewing The Plot receives an 8. '''I really like your idea. It's creative and suspenseful. But you sort of rush through it without giving much detail or building up much suspense. Also, the prologue is more like a summary of events. '''The Characters receive an 8.5. '''I like your characters, but there's not much development. I can't really see their motives or intentions clearly. But I love your names! '''The Imagery receives an 8.5. '''Good, but it needs some defining more. '''The Grammar receives an 8. '''Some of your dialogue is wrong and I saw some sentence structure errors. Overall, a good story with some room for improvement! I look forward to your future works! 22:25, February 6, 2013 (UTC) Shadewing The RandomClan Of Ancient Times:Amber Shadows ~Lilly~ I'd like this checked, please. I like to know my stories are the best they can be. I'll do this one, also. 23:40, January 19, 2013 (UTC) Oh Du-uck! This still needs doing. 12:38, January 27, 2013 (UTC) Sorry for taking so long. '''Plot receives a 9.5 It's an awesome idea and I'm eager to read more. Grammar receives an 9.5 There were a couple misspelled words, but overall it was good. Characters receive a 9.5 I like how you developed the characters like ou did, I only read the part that was there, but just from that, the characters were starting to form well. Imagery receives an 8.5 While you did good on the characters, I didn't really get a good picture of the setting, which is a vital piece of the story. Overall it receives a 9 It was wonderful, but the setting needs a bit more detail. Wonderful job and story. =) On a side note: you have two chapter twos. xD 23:11, February 1, 2013 (UTC) Can you please point them out to me, Duck? I need to know if it's my british spelling. ~Lilly Just gonna casually butt in here and provide my input British spelling / American spelling doesn't matter here. If that's what lowered the grammar score, please raise it. We don't judge based on that, and if we do, there's something wrong. Since last I checked, the leader of SC was a Brit herself. xD idk if this is British or not, so bear with me, and please tell me if it is, so I can change the score. I know like nothing about British spelling. The fist Chapter Two: you spelled hospitality hospitaility, you spelled emanated emnated. The second chapter two: you didn't capitalize Twoleg. That was it~ 21:10, February 6, 2013 (UTC) New Moon Okay, I put New Moon up. I need ideas on what I could work since I had to rewrite the story. [[User:Avalanchestrike|'Strikeh']] [[User talk:Avalanchestrike|'Darkness']] [[New Moon|'is rising']] 14:52, January 20, 2013 (UTC) I'll look at this. ~Lilly No date, but I assume it was in the last 7 days, so Lilly, please do this soon. 12:39, January 27, 2013 (UTC) If she doesn't do it soon I can. 02:39, February 9, 2013 (UTC) Shadewing Blood on the Flowers I don't care who does it. This page is going downhill anyways.''Kamishini No Yari''18:16, June 11, 2013 (UTC) Shadewing I'm not sure of Shadewing remembers that this is here, but I'll do sometime today or tomorrow. 00:39, December 29, 2013 (UTC) Frozen River: Whoever is on and can do it. It only has five chapters so far. 00:39, December 29, 2013 (UTC)